I started online dating a few years ago, and this is the story of one of the first guys I met.
His profile said something funny about his considerable eyebrows, which made him stand out among the hordes of men who think women are attracted to big fish, cars, and photos of them allegedly being worshiped by young, busty waitresses. Eyebrow Guy and I started to text occasionally, but it never went anywhere. In the meantime, I became the victim of an alien abduction (my only explanation) when I met Disney Guy, who taught me, by way of demonstration, the meaning of ghosting. My heart was broken. On the heels of this, Eyebrow Guy popped up and we decided to meet.
I spotted him sitting outside with a library book as dense as Atlas Shrugged, a book I hated and still resent having spent so many months of my life reading. He suggested we go next door to a restaurant and get a drink, which progressed to appetizers and the obligatory life story conversation. He described his life as a struggling artist in New York City. That’s one of the best things about dating. Even if it doesn’t turn into something, I dig when someone opens up their heart. That feeling of connection is truly life giving.
We went on a breakfast date that was followed by us going to a used bookstore. He immediately wandered off, and I didn’t quite know what to do, so I wandered off myself. It was strange, but I was oddly drawn to his quirkiness. When it was time to leave, I stood on the sidewalk, amidst a cold wind, and wondered if he would kiss me goodbye. He didn’t, but he did ask me for dinner the following week. He wanted to cook for me, and I agreed.
A few days later, he asked me my food preferences, which struck me as very thoughtful. I was feeling more intrigued by him. Saturday morning rolls around, my phone is ringing. It’s a number I don’t recognize, so I ignore it. Then, I get a text. It’s Eyebrow Guy’s sister, and would I please call? This made me uneasy, but I went ahead and called. On the other end was a woman I’ve never spoken to, crying, telling me that her brother was found dead last night. She found my number in his phone, and wanted to let me know. I’m stunned. He was just a few years older than me, and didn’t seem at all unhealthy. She told me that he had complained of chest pains a few days before, and apparently dismissed it as indigestion. I told her I was so very sorry, and we said our goodbyes.
I took a break from dating after that.
This song is dedicated to Eyebrow Guy, who I didn’t know very well, but I’m guessing would approve of Tom Waits.