Red and White and Stretchy

It’s a new year and I’m back in the saddle. This was a date I had right before Christmas.

He was from Venice, California, had longish blond hair and his profile divulged that road trips were his art form.  As a fellow wanderer, I thought it would be a fun way to spend the evening.  Since this was a last minute decision to meet, he admitted he’d been out all day and didn’t have time to go get “dolled” up.

As it happens, he managed to stumble upon my neighborhood, and suggested we meet at a local bar.  After hanging with some of my people earlier in the evening, I dashed off to meet him.

As soon as I walked through the door I ran into someone I knew.  After distractedly talking to my friend for a few minutes, I walked into the next room to find him perched at the bar.  Right away, I noticed his impressive blond hair and his red and white stretchy pants. I couldn’t figure out if they were holiday pajama pants or something else, but I decided to turn my attention to him and avoid my desire to concentrate on his funky pants.

After our initial hello’s, we settled in to a booth to get away from the buzz at the bar.  I started my interrogation.  Are you from California originally?  (No). What made you move there?  (Led Zeppelin’s “Going to California”).  What kind of toothpaste do you use (Tom’s).  I’m not sure why I’m amused by toothpaste choices, but for some reason, I ask this question often.

We got along famously, laughed a lot and enjoyed each other’s company. When I started to get tired (dating over 50 apparently means dating until 10pm), I told him I needed to get going.

“I think you’re pretty cool, and I haven’t even kissed you yet.”  This sounded like a challenge to me, so I felt the need to defend my honor.  “Well, I’m a really good kisser.  Just saying.”

Fast forward to the scene of us saying goodbye on the street corner.  We kissed.  “What do you do, just go around torturing men?”

And that’s when I realized why men shouldn’t wear stretchy pants…

P.S.  A friend of mine dubbed online dating as “rent a human.”   Admittedly at first it felt like I was shopping for men.  But, now, after doing it a while, I view it as serendipitously as meeting guys any other way.  I’ve made a few good friends, shared adventures, and have even eased the aching in my heart.  Onward.

This is dedicated to Stretchy Pants Guy.  I hope to meet again someday.


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